Posts Tagged ‘professional development’

BLOG POST: Fear– What Have You Done For Me Lately?

Wednesday, March 30th, 2016

One of my favorite gospel artists is Kirk Franklin, who is an amazing song writer with lyrics that are genuine and current. For me, his song entitled “Hello Fear” is one of the best he’s ever done. It’s really very simple, based on the concept of a person sitting down to have a conversation with Fear. During that conversation, he basically says to Fear, that, well things have changed since the last visit and that it’s no longer welcome. And oh by the way, can I get back what you took from me along the way—hopes, dreams, positive outlook?

I love this song and the simple but powerful message that it conveys. How often do we let our fears drive the direction of our lives until one day you hit a speed bump and you’re like— ‘what was that and why?’ The AHA moment when we realize, oh my goodness, I’ve been letting this thing/person/situation control my life, and for what reason? FEAR.

What are we so afraid of? Negative feedback, lack of support, lack of resources, success, failure, ourselves. But so often, these are not actually things we should be afraid of as much as they are excuses for not pushing ourselves to the next level. There will always be a Negative Nellie waiting to weigh in, cousin Curt has never really supported anyone, and when do we ever have “enough” money and help?

We cannot let our success or failure be held hostage by an imaginary Debbie Downer. Think about it. That’s what fear really is—the nasty little voice inside your head that is repeating or recreating what someone else or some situation has presented as a reason why you can’t move forward. And yes, I included failure in the same breath as success because the only bad failure is the failure to try. All other failures actually are stepping stones to achieving your goals and dreams. So don’t be afraid of them, embrace them!

Have you had a conversation with YOUR fears recently? Well, if you are tired of being tired and ready to achieve the next level of your destiny personally or professionally, you may need to borrow a line from Kirk . . . “Hello Fear, before you sit down there’s something I need to explain . . . “

For more information on Patricia’s leadership and personal development offerings, visit her at www.patriciavhayes.com
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Press the “Mute” Button on External Chatter

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

So, after much self-chastising, I have returned to continue the conversation promised on the issue of developing a more powerful you by focusing on your thought life and process.  So much for gaining control over the little voice, right?

Well, as much as we want to hush up the “little voice” in our head, more often than not, it’s not the little voice that needs to be silenced as much as the many big voices that we hear day in and day out all around us.  Too often we are spending too much time trying to be in control of the wrong thing. Instead of focusing on the messages sent to us by the external chatter group (let’s call them the “ECG”), we should be listening to our internal chatter and determining what is legitimate or not that we are hearing from our own “little voice”.  Who/what is included in the ECG? It can include your husband, wife, sister, brother, best friend, co-workers, gym buddies, the media—anything and anyone that influences what you think about and as a result, take action on.  Sometimes these influences are good—there are those times that we need that good swift kick in the rear end to get ourselves in motion.  But more often than not, we allow the “naysayers” to influence us, even if it is unconsciously.  It’s the random comment from your running partner about how difficult it was for his sister to finish her business degree that may cause you to think “That’s exactly why I can’t go back to school and finish my degree, it’s going to be too hard”.  Or it’s the outright “are you crazy” look that you receive from your uncle when mention that you have a great idea for starting a business that causes you to put the idea on the back burner for the tenth time. 

Well, it’s time to take back control and to do so you must start with you! It’s time to press the mute button on the ECGs. Other people and entities will always be there to offer their unsolicited words of advice or caution.  But that does not mean that we should automatically internalize everything we hear and presume the worst.  Be more conscious on a daily basis of what you internalize from external sources.  As you become more self-aware, and actively engage in and control what you are thinking, you will be amazed to learn that we are too often internalizing the negative influences of our ECGs.  As author Cindy Trimm states, “Act intentionally rather than react unconsciously.”  Watching what we internalize  must be a conscious practice that is incorporated into our daily activities until it becomes a habit—a good habit!  Once we rid ourselves of the negative influences of constant external chatter, imagine the power and freedom gained which results in a more creative, more thoughtful, more powerful you!

Rearview Mirror Driving

Monday, March 21st, 2011

Are you starting off the year with regrets already?

The new year is well under way as is (or should be) our goal planning for this year. But honestly, how many times already in the last two months have you reverted back to thinking about what happened last year or worse, what didn’t happen? Then the vicious cycle begins– you get caught up in all the points and counter points as to why and how you let those things happen. And just that quickly you have lost focus and gotten stuck in yesteryear.

Have you ever tried driving forward while looking in the rearview mirror? ‘Well of course not!’ you say, ‘you will get yourself killed doing that!’ Common sense tells says that you cannot drive forward safely while constantly looking backwards; that’s how accidents happen. Exactly. So why do we try to move forward into a new year while still hanging on to what happened in the past? It will certainly lead to an accident of some sort– professional, personal, financial– leaving you frustrated and confused because you were certain that you only took you eyes off the road (your future) for just a minute.

Let’s be proactive in 2011 and consciously watch where our thinking takes us this year. While an occasional glance in the rearview mirror may be warranted at some time, let’s not affix our vision there for too long as it will distract us from the wonderful future that lies ahead. In keeping with that thought, I will be exploring in the coming weeks the issue of the power of our thoughts, how they affect our actions and ultimately determine the level of our success. I look forward to sharing my own thoughts and experiences in this area as we work toward achieving our goals. Here’s to being accident-free in 2011!